would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
This show inspires me to have sex in space
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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