i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
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