Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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