Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize