I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
