a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
