I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
did i just pee glitter
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
