At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
