hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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