i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
