so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
