i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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