Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I need moral support for this bender
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
