I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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