I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize