He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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