Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
