I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
