Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
