Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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