Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
