have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
