I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He shit in the fireplace
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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