My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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