margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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