Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize