my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
