i just had sex bonerless
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i've created a new STD.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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