But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
