I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just found puke in my bra..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
