i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
