i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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