You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
