Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
