Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
