I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
