Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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