I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
