Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
