Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
