Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
