i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
