yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
