I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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