capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
