So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize