Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I smell stomach acid.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
