GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
