Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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