I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
