First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize