its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
