I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
