everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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