Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
