Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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