Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
