mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
