u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
