what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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